"RAW" Recap for January 18th, 2010

On this blog I do not want anyone to have to sit through every single moment that happened on "Raw". If you want every single detail, change your page over to wwe.com and get what you're looking for. What I'm looking to do is give a condensed version of "Raw", letting the reader get to the heart of what went down. So here we go:
"Raw" kicks off with Vince McMahon blithering on about what he did to Bret Hart two weeks ago (didn't he ramble on about this last week too?). It's funny but considering Vince is "keeping Bret out of the WWE", he sure keeps mentioning him a lot; way to insult my intelligence Vince! Everyone knows Bret will be back on tv before long. Anyways, finally The Undertaker makes his way to the ring and basically scares McMahon off. Taker calls out Shawn Michaels. Taker refuses to accept Shawn's challenge. Shawn says that he'll win the Royal Rumble and challenge Undertaker at Mania.
With Randy Orton looking on, Ronald McDonald on steroids, oops, I mean WWE champ Sheamus easily tore apart Evan Bourne.
Jack Swagger, for some unknown reason that only the writers could explain, made an open challenge to anyone to try and throw him over the top rope (yawn). Well, he lost this challenge last week to Santino Marella, so what do think happened tonight? His opponent, Mark Henry, easily heaved Swagger over the top rope to win the "challenge" (yawn).
Kofi Kingston and John Cena defeated Legacy.
Gail Kim and Eve defeated Alicia Fox and Maryse.
With WWE champion Sheamus looking on, Randy Orton easily beat Chris Masters in short time. After the match Sheamus gave a big running boot to the head of the challenger leaving Orton laying on the mat.
DX and Hornswoggle defeated the team of the Big Show, Jon Heder and The Miz. Koodos to Heder for actually taking some bumps in this one and getting squashed by the Big Show after Show got nailed by HBK's sweet chin music.
After the match, each man (Show included) tells everyone else that THEY are in thr Royal Rumble and THEY are going to win. Eventually, DX dumps Big Show out of the ring and Triple H does the same thing to his partner, Michaels. Trips grabs a mic and lets everyone know that he too is in the rumble and he's gonna win.
All in all, not a bad show. Here's hoping that The Hitman makes his return some time some to Raw because, well, it's better with him than without.